Now They Know
by PersonJe
Summary: In the wonderful world of fanfiction, I made things make sense. This fic answers the questions and erases the doubts I had. Or just fills in some blanks.
1. The Ball

Elsa was worried. Not only was her sister off with some man she had just met -so she had sent the Royal Handler to check on her little sister; sue her- but her curse was worsening. Elsa was sure that if she had any more emotional stimuli, she'd have to end the party early. It would be suspicious to just leave so the party was still on, despite her unease, and she was holding out hope that nothing would happen.

Elsa smiled slightly, relieved to see her sister return happy, despite how their latest interaction ended. Absently a part of her mind dipped back into her memory, her mask and smile firmly in place.

_"Me too," _Elsa remembers saying. _It was so easy and natural for Elsa to smile and laugh so close to her sister, Anna. Elsa's posture wasn't perfect like it usually was. Instead of tall and regal, her posture was warm and loving, from her slightly crooked smile to the fond tilt of her head._

_Unfortunately, Elsa couldn't stay caught up in the moment. Her focus was too intense on Anna. She was too distracted -_happy_- to keep control and Elsa's deep eyes began to see more and more. Too much. Edges of a shape started to form across Anna's right eye. Elsa evaded her eyes up subtly. Mistake. Now all she saw was that pale strand, darkened with time. Elsa's sight wouldn't return back to normal though, so to her it was a cold, cold white . Her eyes shifted again. Worse. On Anna's iris, where a young Elsa's powers had stuck, was a fully revealed shape. Elsa's expression hardened, dark brown brows pulling together. A snowflake. She turned away. _Elsa's _snowflake. "But it can't."_

"Marriage?" She blinked rapidly, her smile falling in shock. "I'm sorry," Elsa said. "I'm confused," her lips pulled up once more, sure that she had heard wrong.

"Well we haven't worked out all the details ourselves. We'll need a few days to plan the ceremony..." Elsa could barely hear her, the wind howling in her ears as ice pricked in her veins.

"Here?" She was sure her stomach had dropped along with her temperature. "Anna," she started, her hands moving instinctively. Her head shook as they continued on and her hands moved more. "What? No. No, no, no, no." Anna glanced at her for a moment before continuing in her ramblings to _Prince Hans_. "Just _wait_," Elsa said sharply, as sharp as the jagged icicles just screaming to be released. "Slow down." Elsa wasn't quite sure if she was talking to the two red-ish haired individuals, or the storm howling within. She needed control.

"No one's brothers are staying here," she breathed in, willing it all to still. "No one is getting married."

"Wait, what?" Surely Elsa could talk some sense to Anna, gently.

"May I talk to you, please?" But she had to_ get away_ from all these people. These vulnerable people making her veins cold with nerves. "Alone?"

"No." And just like that her hands fell. _Don't lose sight of who you are, don't let it show..._

"Fine." _Conceal._ "You can't marry a man you've just met." _Don't feel._

"You can if it's true love," Anna insisted. The storm slowed, as if wanting to hear what she'd say.

"Anna, what do you know about true love?"

"More than you," she answered immediately. "All you know how to do is shut people out."

Elsa was wrong. The storm had only granted her a slight reprieve so she could feel the full force of Anna's words as it effortlessly broke through her mask, tearing ruthlessly at her heart.

She was mad. At the storm. At Anna. At herself. At the pain she always felt. "You ask for my blessing but my answer is_ no._ Now," Her eyes dropped. She had no right to be angry. As far as Anna knows, her words were nothing but the truth. And it has to stay that way. Like it had for the past 13 years.

Elsa was already pushing her restraint, "Excuse me." The Prince with Anna on his arm interjected. In the glances Elsa's still-too-sharp eyes had taken of Prince Hans, there was something that just made her feel uneasy, threatened. And just by speaking her powers tried to escape and protect her, the storm raging once more.

It was too much. "No, you may not," she cut him off, needing to get away. "And I-" she was doing it again, shutting people out. "I think you should go." She couldn't keep it in for much longer.

"The party is over," she told the royal handler. "Close the gates."

She walked away calmly, the epitome of royal etiquette. _Conceal, don't fe-_ Her glove slipped off. With a gasp she turned towards Anna, looking at her bare hand in shock before hiding it behind her, seeing the cold it was bathed in.

"Give me my glove!" _Before it shows._ Anna backed out of her reach, pleading.

"I can't live like this anymore!" Elsa never understood the saying "a bucket of cold water"; the cold never bothered her. Elsa was sure that it was similar to what she was feeling now, though. Combined with a dagger to the gut.

Elsa failed. She couldn't convince her sister, couldn't protect her from the years of loneliness, the loss and grief. "Then leave." But she could still protect Anna from herself. Anna's pained eyes didn't make Elsa feel like she was protecting her, though._ But it's the only way. The pain is worth it._ With a defeated sigh she turned away. Doubts and fears nipped at her slipping, practically nonexistent, control.

"What did I ever do to you?"

"Enough, Anna." _Make it stop._

"No! Why?" Her breaths turned to strained gasps. The storm was a blizzard. _Conceal._ "Why do you shut me out?" There's so much ice. _Don't feel._ "Why do you shut the world out?" _Don't let them know._ "What are you so afraid of?"

Elsa snapped. "I said _enough!_"

The relief from letting it go was overshadowed by the terror she felt as she looked into their stunned, fearful eyes.

_Now they know._

* * *

**2/7/14 **A/N: I edited the first paragraph. It didn't fit with what I've now written.

**1/16/14** A/N: Added flashback scene. Answers the question: "How come no one saw the blue stuff creeping up the scepter and orb during the ceremony in the chapel?" In my headcanon, one of Elsa's powers is the ability to see heat. She conceals it of course, unless she's too nervous (chapel) or too distracted (ball) to keep blocking it. Another thing I expounded was what I initially wrote this for and that's the fact that Elsa was really high-strung after speaking with Anna. Of course, that can be written off as her concern and panic for her sister but I like my idea better because, like I said, it's kind of a crossover (/s/10047381/1). And it's my fic so I can do whatever I want.

You guys are welcome to leave questions or doubts _you_ had and I'll see what I can do. No promises though :P

**1/10/14 **A/N: This is kinda part of my headcanon and set in the same universe as a crossover I'm not sure if I should post. But it shows Elsa's side of things. And yeah it's been done a lot but it was already written so whatever.


	2. Coronation Day

"It's coronation day!" Anna leapt out of bed, dashing off in a blur to her bathroom. She sped through her morning routine, hastily putting on the dress and her shoes. She half-dashed and half-limped to the tall, painted double doors of the dressing room, having not quite put on her shoes correctly. Anna nearly slid off the vanity chair in her eagerness, fixing her shoes as she went, kept in place only with the help of a female servant.

"Slow down there, Princess Anna," she chided gently, already working to fix the wild mess of strawberry blonde hair.

"I can't help it, Liv," Anna gushed to her, familiar with all the staff. Liv was dealing with a particularly stubborn knot in her hair. "It's coronation da-ow!"

"My apologies, Princess." Liv smiled, braiding Anna's hair in two. She watched in concern as those blue eyes glanced to the empty seat on her left. Whereas Anna's vanity was painted in soft pinks and warm greens, the other was decorated with cool blues and light purples.

"And Elsa?" Anna asked softly.

"I'm sure she's been dressed for awhile now," Liv replied, carefully not putting much emotion in her voice. The Queen, for Elsa truly was Queen regardless of the crown she would wear for the first time later today, had been readying herself alone for many years now. "I've heard she's in the study." It was very practical -from the study's window one could see the flow of citizens- but it also allowed her to be alone.

Elsa did most things alone, or at least some distance away from others including Anna. That yawning gap between the sisters always saddened Princess Anna, the late King and Queen and most of the staff as well. The royal servants, the ones who stayed after the staff was greatly reduced, knew that Queen Elsa was very loving, especially with her sister, but she always avoided contact with everyone whenever she could since she was 8 years old, and only showed her kindness in small, innocuous things. Things that completely blew over the head of Princess Anna and were certainly not their place to explain the importance of.

Liv just finished putting Anna's hair up in an intricate bun and was draping a gold pendant around her neck. This was one of those small things. Elsa had taken a liking to metal, and with the help of her father, she had forged this necklace which the late Queen had engraved the symbol of Arendelle. Liv had heard that there was a secret latch in the pendant that Queen Elsa had designed herself. Supposedly no one but talented blacksmiths could detect it, let alone her little sister. Liv herself was a bit skeptical at the claim but would not be surprised. The Queen had always been very talented at many things. Sometimes Liv and the other staff speculated that Elsa's distance was because her intellect made it difficult to relate well to Anna. Of course, that speculation, along with many others, was scrapped because it just didn't fit with who Elsa was, and like all speculations, had no real evidence to back it.

Liv managed to tie two of three ribbons into the strawberry-blonde bun before Princess Anna had perked up to her initial exuberance and was looking about ready to shoot off the chair and out into the castle halls.

"Princess, wait! Your ribbo-" In vain Liv tried to slow Anna down so she could finish but Liv found the ribbon she was holding gone along with the Princess. Bursting out the doors, Liv could just see Anna tying it into her hair before dashing out of sight.

Liv heard laughter and exclamations of "It's coronation day!" from the Princess along with a few yelps of surprise from some of the staff. Chuckling to herself Liv went to go and help with the damage Princess Anna was sure to have wrought inadvertently. That poor suit of armor, for example, had endured a lot of abuse over the years from the clumsy Princess.

* * *

"Tell the guards to open up," breath, "the gate." Liv stared forward dutifully, barely even twitching in response to the command Queen Elsa issued through opened doors as a cool breeze nipped at her face. Elsa's authoritative voice rang through the hall and all six of them bowed, turned, and then the first pair walked, then the second pair, and then the third walked two steps ahead of Queen Elsa, a wider but even space between each pair. Queen Elsa walked at a regal, sedate pace behind them as the servants headed down the staircase. Descending the stairs, they signalled two other servants who promptly scurried off to do last-minute checks and signal the next pair who will do the same until the message reached the guards. It was an interesting way to communicate, but it was the most effective with the number of staff they had. Plus it was rather silent and sans the typically young and inexperienced staff members AKA messengers running around like a chicken with their head cut off.

Liv could still feel the slight breeze on her cheeks as she walked. Many servants, Liv included, had noticed something peculiar tending to happen around Queen Elsa. Sometimes, her lilting voice would sound the slightest bit distorted, a barely noticable breeze would blow through and the movements of her mouth did not quite sync with her words. Liv, personally was sure she needed to get her head checked until hearing others witness the same phenomena. Honestly, Liv doubted much anyone else but a royal servant could even tell the phenomena was happening. They'd have to be quite familiar with Queen Elsa to even pick up on it really. It was so slight and so few are close enough to Elsa to catch it the few times it does happen.

The first pair of servants halted, then the second and then the third, nearly identical to how they were positioned before moving. The hall they stopped in was rather dimly lit compared to the last, but that was because windows weren't designed to be the major light source here. As Queen Elsa passed them, Liv, and the servant across from her, allowed their eyes to follow her, as did the next pair and the next. It was something they all did, almost like as the monarch passed the "at ease" command is issued. Little quirks like this made the royal servants quite comfortable in their role, unlike other kingdoms where they are all stiff and unbending, seeming more like a robot than a human.

The breeze was stronger, almost comforting to Liv as she watched the Queen's mouth move soundlessly, forming words never heard. The Queen's hands met metal handles, the doors opening audibly. Liv was rather fond of this hall. The light here didn't come from the Sun through windows. It comes from Arendelle through their leader and an open door.

* * *

**1/23/14 **A/N: Yeah, so. Kinda made an OC because I didn't know how else to address the stuff I had issues with. First part: Simply didn't like Anna's room having epicly tall double doors while Elsa has one measly door in comparison, so I made the epic doors lead to a dressing room intended to be shared between the two sisters. Funnily enough, there were some concept art with a dressing room. Not quite what I imagine but, yay. Second part: Elsa's singing. Like, what. I'll accept Anna randomly singing, but no one paying attention to Elsa singing "conceal, don't feel" is pushing it. Because I suck at writing, the second part is about Elsa having control over the wind aspect of her powers, thus she can control how and what people hear.

Should I put this in semi-chronological order ? And sorry if anyone doesn't like that this fic is no longer Elsa-centric. I wanted to address more than just Elsa so. Deal.


	3. Pillar of Strength

The visiting dignitary bit back the reflexive apology, seeing just who he had bumped into during a bow.

"Just the spare," he remarked derisively, turning back around as the girl was whisked into a dance by that one prince, one of many from the Southern Isles and of no real importance.

"Sir Rohtman." Ice blue eyes bore into him, and another man would've felt cowed by her intense gaze and silent grace.

Elsa knew he wasn't just another man. She felt a flicker of irritation and righteous anger, latching onto it from where she had sunk deep within the storm. Her mind blanked. Her face set in a distant, regal and condescending mask. Her icy eyes hardened impenetrably and her voice was like the biting, arctic air.

This was a test. She knew that with certainty. Many nations' representatives had come, yes. But many of them weren't leaders. They were the observers, the gossips, some were open and compassionate, and yet others were aggravating and arrogant. The nations had sent people who could get a read on the new Queen. Elsa knew many were wary because of her young age, but she also knew that some nations were only skeptical because of her gender.

It was a bitter pill to swallow. Not only was she a pillar of strength to Arendelle, but to women in general. Especially young women like her sister Anna. She was the first Queen regnant to not be an experienced widow, and more importantly, Arendelle wasn't exactly a _small_ kingdom.

The town was deceptive, but the Kingdom of Arendelle was larger than most people thought it to be. They often didn't consider the forested mountains to be very habitable, and most only saw the town, which was but a fraction of Arendelle. Many of the other places which made up the Kingdom were villages, hidden sparsely among the towering mountains. While the town was mostly merchants, fishers and artisans, the villages were more like hunters, farmers and wood cutters.

Only Oaken's Trading Post was an obvious building out in the open wilderness, and that's because it was near the nation's border and was along the obvious path to the main town. Anyone looking to invade Arendelle would either have to sail through the castle's defenses, or hike the mountains, either taking the easy route and be spotted by Oaken, or try to navigate the forest. If it was the latter, they're more likely to be eaten by the wild life or be ambushed by a village.

Arendelle was first a culmination of warriors. The shields on the castle walls weren't just decoration but a piece of history. There was a reason the castle was Arendelle's first line of defense against threats by sea. Even the duality of Arendelle's banners had a reason. Green represented harmony, the combined efforts of many warriors, while purple represented the calm but fierce front they faced others with. And because of the traditional profile banners, the green side was often called the "spring" side and the purple side was likened to winter's ice. The monarch faces winter's wrath to protect the people of Arendelle.

People assumed by Arendelle's low crime rates and visibly unarmored guards that the reigning monarch is more of their "spring" side. Typically that's true but all monarchs had been efficient with being wintry cool and sharp when pressed, but not many knew or broadcasted that. So a young, female Arendelle monarch? If it wasn't for the rumors of her cunning mind, many wouldn't have bothered. Elsa wished they hadn't.

Blinking, she snapped back to herself and reality just as Rohtman took his leave, visibly perturbed. If Anna was around, her mask probably wouldn't have managed to keep her eyes from widening. Anna managed to brush past all her defenses as if they were only paper and she a mighty wind. It was almost ironic, really.

Reflexively, Elsa mingled with other dignitaries, thankfully avoiding any like Rohtman who'd push and test her restraint. Mostly calm, Elsa could admit that Rohtman really wasn't that bad. He was actually rather clever. He fell asleep during the ceremony she was obviously nervous about, and insulted her sister whom she was obviously fond of. He just underestimated Arendelle's new monarch, and specifically how vivaciously she'd react to her sister being slandered even the slightest.

Her mind rewound, going over her interactions with Sir Rohtman. He had seemed faintly surprised she had accurately gotten his name and rank. Kai hadn't announced him as the Duke of Weselton had insisted and they were many dignitaries attending. Not to mention, his clothes were purposely nondescript, hoping to not portray an active reminder of his nation so that once he had gathered his information, his nation could interact without Rohtman's less than pleasant behavior biasing Arendelle. There were pointed remarks about "spares" being of greater value than the noble class, and other polite statements that solidified her political moniker, the Ice Queen. It wasn't that remarkable a conversation by Elsa's standards, she recalled. All the while she isolated and contained the fear pooling through her.

Elsa had blanked. She had no memory of deciding to do any of that. Any thoughts, feelings, nothing. It was an out-of-body experience, her whiteouts. And they were getting increasingly more frequent and...worse.

Her first whiteouts were short and she did little more than freeze up and zone out. They progressed to her doing routines without noticing, too lost in the blizzard to consciously do them. And now she could hold a political conversation while in a whiteout. What would she do next?

Elsa was slipping, losing more and more of her humanity. Her too sharp eyes froze tears before they could fall.

* * *

**2/7/14 **A/N: So I started out writing this because A: The guy who bumped into Anna didn't apologize and it was just weird to me and B: This quote from Brittney Lee: "Before her coronation, Elsa holds everything in. She is controlled and contained. She is quite literally the pillar of strength that the people of her kingdom need her to be, and yet she is completely closed off from them."

Pillar of strength, thus the title which I may or may not change. It might be "monster" or something like that cuz somehow I wounded up writing about "whiteout"s -I didn't think "blacking out" fits Elsa so...

I get inspiration from the soundtrack, like Christophe Beck's Whiteout. And this makes Elsa more...damaged? It gives her another reason to get the fudge away from everyone, though.

Oh, also spring and winter are pretty important in the movie, and to Arendelle who's crest is a crocus, so I kind of explained the whole purple and green thing.

And I suck at names so Rohtman is just Thor backwards plus man.


End file.
